


All is Calm

by awfuldaycupcake



Series: Unrelated Christmas One Shots! [7]
Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Christmas fic, M/M, Really fluffy, logicality - Freeform, they're going caroling!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 08:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13050582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awfuldaycupcake/pseuds/awfuldaycupcake
Summary: It was over a year ago, and it had all started with some spiders.Patton and Logan had been dating for a year, and when Thomas decided to go caroling, Patton decided it was time for Logan to show off that voice of his.





	All is Calm

Roman _loved_ the holidays. He loved them with all of his being. The traditions, the spirit, and most importantly? Roman loved the caroling.

Florida came with its perks, sure, but a “White Christmas” wasn’t one of them. That didn’t stop Thomas and his friends from gathering around to go caroling at the local dementia support home, and Roman was so thankful for that. They were in a huge group-- around twenty or so. The lights were glistening, the music was slow and languid and beautiful, and Thomas loved to do it just as much as Roman did.

But. (There was always a but.) If there was one thing that bugged Roman, it was the pretentious guy who always stood behind Thomas.

Roman was at the controls. It _was_ kind of an Inside-Out type setup, now that Roman was thinking about it. The four of them were behind an elaborate set of controls, helping Thomas to pick and choose what moves to make and when to make them. Thomas was always the one to make the final call, but whoever was at the helm had the biggest impact at the time. Roman was always at the controls when they were singing. He was there for auditions, to star in shows, to sing the bright, brassy runs and vibrato that Thomas was known for.

He was also there for carol singing. However, it wasn’t his bright, brassy runs and vibrato that people were looking for. Specifically, the pretentious guy standing behind Thomas.

“Watch your dynamics, show off. You’re supposed to be pianissimo and you’re verging on mezzo forte,” he said. Thomas turned around, eyes wide. _What?_

Virgil was fighting Roman for the controls.

“That was terrible. We’re dead. He should leave. We should go home and rent movies and never sing again,” Virgil muttered, pushing past Patton, who was trying very hard to hold him back.

“Nonsense! This must have been a mistake. Surely if we keep singing at this volume--” Roman was cut off by the pretentious guy standing behind Thomas.

“I’m sorry, didn’t you hear me? _Sing quieter,_ ” he said. It sounded like he was talking to a two-year-old. Thomas nodded. His anxiety was getting to him.

Virgil had taken the controls, giving Roman a side-eye. “Don’t do anything to make this worse,” he said. Roman, though, was also feeling Virgil’s presence.

“How am I too loud? Am I too loud? I don’t know how to sing any quieter than this, this is _my_ show,” Roman said.He compulsively began to pull random levers. Thomas grew louder. “This is my show. This is MY _show!_ ”

“No, silly!” Patton said. He was standing next to Roman, looking out of Thomas’ eyes towards their audience, smiling quietly and contently in their chairs. “This isn’t our show. This is their show!” An older woman in the crowd was clapping her hands in time, an older gentleman was tapping his foot. They looked happy to be there. The thought made Patton’s heart swell.

“Princey can’t get past the fact that he isn’t the center of attention,” Virgil said with a huff. He’d sat down in a spinny chair behind the helm, spinning around in small, lackadaisical circles.

“This isn’t about being the center of attention. It’s about being surrounded by the people you love--”

“ _While_ you’re the center of attention,” Roman finished. Patton chuckled.

“You’re not _getting_ it, Romano!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Here. Logan!” Patton said. Logan looked up. He’d been sitting a little further from the others behind a small desk in the corner. A pile of papers was sitting neatly in a stack, color-coded and organized. Thomas’s weekly schedule. A blue two-tone mug with weird sine and parabolic functions sat next to the papers. It was empty, he’d had his coffee, and Logan hadn’t bothered to run it back yet. Nevertheless, Patton was interrupting. “Come here for a minute.” Logan stood, doing as Patton asked. He had no reason why not to.

“I need you to do something for me,” Patton said. Logan narrowed his eyes, adjusting his glasses.

“Whether I will or not is entirely based on the circumstances and contents of your request,” Logan said. Patton chuckled, pulling him in for a brief hug. Logan smiled with a slight hum. As long as they’d been together, he still could never get over that.

“I need you to take total control of the helm,” Patton said once he’d pulled away. Logan paused.

“Excuse me?”

“I need you to take the controls. Help Thomas sing,” Patton said. Roman turned around, his jaw open. Virgil rolled his eyes, pulling his headphones over his ears. He was so overdramatic.

“Patton, you know I don’t--”

“I’ve heard your real singing voice, Logan. Plenty of times,” Patton said. “Think of every time you sang me a bedtime lullaby, of every little melody you write in the margin of your papers. Don’t pretend I don’t see that. You might be the only one of us to be able to read music, but that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize it, honey.” Dang. Patton had bested him again.

“I will only assume the position with Roman’s permission,” Logan said. All eyes turned to Roman.

“I… this is my job. I create. I make music.” He glanced up through Thomas’s eyes. True to Patton’s word, there were smiles on the faces of everyone there. He. He didn't need to try to impress these people. They were already impressed by the people around him. This wasn't all about him. “But… you create too, Logan. In a different way.” Roman nudged Virgil away from the controls, gesturing to Logan. “The stage is yours.”

“Thank you,” Logan said. Oh. He did not anticipate that working. Now he was in quite the sticky situation.

The one song they were on-- _O Holy Night_ \-- finished with a flourish. Next up was Silent Night. A quiet song. This was the perfect time for Logan to do it, to change Thomas's dynamics, to fix what needed fixing.

Only problem? He was scared.

Yes, he knew very clearly that that was Virgil’s position. This was not the issue. The issue was the bleed that often occurred, the overlap in character. Nothing completely logical can ever be separated from performance anxiety. Performance anxiety itself was logical. It kept a performer prepared and stable, and prevented all preventable mistakes.

He was scared. The next song began to play. Logan took a deep breath.

He thought back to Patton. Nothing was quite as comfortable as being with Patton. It was true that Logan would often sing to him-- in fact, that was half of the reason they'd gotten together in the first place. Logan let his mind wander back to then.

It was over a year ago, and it had all started with some spiders.

Patton was freaking out. Not just mildly annoyed or mildly scared kind of freaking out, but the kind of nervous that makes him want to run screaming for the hills mixed with the kind of angry that made him want to, like, steal a teddy bear or something terrible and irrational like that. The reason for his freaking out?

Spiders.

He’d spotted one in the dark. He _knew_ it. It had to be. There was no other possible outcome. What else moved so creepily, walking over his covers and his bed and up his legs and into his ears and oh _god_ Patton was going to have his brains eaten and he’d die and Thomas would have no morality and then he’d probably die and everyone would die and it was all his fault and _spiders_ and--

Okay. Okay. He needed to breathe.

Patton pulled the covers up to his chin. He did _not_ like where this was going. He only had one in-depth fear, and that was spiders. Well, that and losing Thomas, but all of the Sides feared that. No one knew what would happen, not even Logan.

 _Logan._ If anyone was the answer to fear, it was Logan. Patton looked around his dark bedroom one more time. He thought he felt something on his leg. Well. That cemented it for him. Patton _jumped_ from his bed, dashing across the room and flinging open the door. His mind was chanting “run run run,” and he knew right then that he needed some logic.

He pounded his fist three times on Logan’s door. It was less than a minute before a sleepy Logan greeted him. His hair was tousled and his glasses were missing. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. Even though all of the Sides looked the exact same with the exception of their dresswear, Patton could tell this was Logan. He just… _felt_ it.

“Patton, are you alright?” Logan said. He’d always been a very light sleeper, and a simple knock at the door was enough to rattle him from his sleep. That, and he was very limited in regards to functioning before his coffee. Patton’s frazzled appearance was a bit off-putting, he had to admit. He was a mess.

“Logan, you have to help me. There was a spider and I think he’s coming for me. They’re all coming for me. They’re creepy, and they’re all crawly and they’ll climb into my brain and eat it like cotton candy and I don’t even like cotton candy and they’ll make webs inside my head and then I’ll become a spider-zombie and hurt you guys and I don’t want to hurt you guys and--” Patton took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

There was a desperate tone to Patton’s voice that took Logan aback for half of a second. He knew what he needed to do.

“Come on in, you can sleep here tonight,” Logan said. “I shall simply spend the night in your room if it does not perturb you too greatly.” Patton made a face at that. True, the thought of getting out of his room was a really nice one, but did he really want to be alone? No. But. There was a bigger issue. He didn’t want Logan to turn into a spider-zombie.

“Uh, if it wouldn't bother you too much, could. Could you maybe stay? I mean. If it's too weird or too much to ask you can just tell me,” Patton said. Logan raised an eyebrow. He truly never would understand emotions.

“I don't see why not,” he said. Logan opened the door, letting Patton in from the hallway. Patton practically slumped in relief.

Logan’s room was a dark gray with blue and black curtains, bedspreads, and the like. It was all very plain and set. Everything was logical. Everything made sense.

“Thank you so much. I don't know why I get so worried,” Patton said. He forced a smile on his face. “But you know! Just kooky old Patton messing around--”

“Patton, this is not the time for pretending. Go to sleep,” Logan instructed. He gestured towards the bed, his eyes tired. Patton’s forced smile fell. Logan could always see through him.

Patton curled up on the side of the bed that was still made, leaving the previously-slept-on side for Logan to return to. There was no complaint of the two of them sharing a bed. Both were tired, and neither were the sort of person to read too far into this. Logan tucked himself into bed beside Patton, turning to face the wall. “Goodnight,” Logan said, switching off the light. Patton was already out. Logan smiled small, closing his eyes. Order had returned.

Not for long.

Logan awoke with a start. What _was_ that sound? He pivoted his head, eyes scanning the room He was looking for the threat. Logan was the lightest sleeper of the sides. He was always awake and ready to take on anything. He usually followed a schedule, but the slightest of sounds could startle him. He had to be aware. Logan flicked on the light, looking around. He turned to see Patton next to him. Oh. His memory returned. _Right. Patton._ Patton himself was looking worse for wear. He was curled into a tiny ball, his face scrunched up in something that almost looked like pain. Logan looked closer. He was crying.

Logan put his hand lightly on Patton’s shoulder before he could stop himself. Patton’s eyes threw open, looking up to Logan with what only could be described as fear. “Patton? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine! Fine and dandy! Nothing is wrong!” Patton said. Logan sighed. He was clearly lying, but calling him out in this state would only send him further into sadness. Logan gave him a small smile.

“Were you having trouble sleeping?”

“Me? Having trouble? How crazy. I’m doing perfect!” Patton said. He wiped his eyes, continuing to act as if nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong! It was all okay. It was… he was okay! He was. He was. Right.

Logan paused momentarily. He could not allow this to continue, but he also could not command him to stop or ask him any more questions. That would only make things worse. So, he supposed, what could he do? He could not leave Patton alone, that was not an option. So. How to soothe someone.

Logan’s eyes widened. What did Thomas do when he was sad to calm him down? He _sang._

Logan cleared his throat. He was never one to sing, he always found it ridiculous, but...

“Silent night, holy night. All is calm,” Logan started. Patton looked up. Christmas music. Patton supposed nothing brought him up like Christmas, but. It was July. Logan continued. “All is bright.”

Logan’s voice was beautiful. It was quiet, calm, and warm, smooth and soft…

“Round yound’ virgin, mother and child,” Logan continued. Patton looked up at him, that unnamed fear still in his eyes. He joined in.

“Holy infant, so tender and mild,” Patton sang. Logan smiled down at him, taking the leap and running a hand through his hair.

“Sleep in heavenly peace,” Logan said. Patton relaxed at the touch. “Sleep in heavenly peace.” Logan watched as Patton’s eyes slid shut. He ran his fingers through his hand once more, listening until his breathing evened out. Logan switched off the light.

This repeated over the next couple months. Whenever Patton was feeling down, or really feeling low in any way, he’d come to Logan. It started with just the fear of spiders, but he began opening up. The forced smiles and bottled-up emotions began to open, and he was finally saying what he wanted to. It wasn’t too long before one of those nights… Well. It was Christmas.

Patton woke up in Logan’s bed, as per usual. Logan was asleep next to him, his face blank and passive. Again, as per usual. Patton gave him a warm smile. He’d changed the way he saw himself in the past few short months they’d be doing this. He was more comfortable, more confident. But Logan, had he changed at all? Patton hummed a melody, curling into Logan’s side.

“Oh, holy night,” he sang. “The stars are brightly shining.” Logan stirred, but didn’t open his eyes. Patton smiled. He was so… _cute_.

“Mmm. Good morning,” Logan muttered. His eyes were still shut, but he was just waking up. He had most certainly not had his coffee yet. Patton hugged him close to his chest.

“Sleep well?” Logan said.

“Yeah, for once. I think I woke up around three, but I fell back asleep really quickly,” Patton said. Days of lying were over between the two of them. The thought made Patton’s heart skip a beat.

“I’m glad,” Logan said. He turned around, facing Patton with a small smile. Then and there, in his sleep induced-haze, he did what he’d wanted to do since before this all began.

Logan pressed a light, sweet kiss to Patton’s lips.

Patton’s eyes shot open, leaning into the kiss for the fraction of a second where he realized what was going on. Logan didn’t even react, just giving a sleepy yawn.

“L-Logan?” Patton said. “Logan.”

“What?” Logan said. He looked over to Patton.

“You just. You just…” Patton trailed off, gesturing to his lips. Logan shot up.

“Oh. _Oh._ I’m so sorry, I just acted upon impulse, as my morning attention span tends to falter and I rely on instinct, I-” Logan began. Patton just melted, kissing him again.

Logan relaxed into the kiss.

Right, back to present time. Logan flexed his fingers, pressing them gently to the controls. The first notes of Silent Night queued up, and Logan had Thomas take a breath. They needed to be prepared.

As Thomas opened his mouth to sing, Logan did the same thing. He, too, was singing along behind the controls. Roman watched on with confusion, but Patton’s eyes were filled with admiration. This man had changed him. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest.

“Silent night,” Logan began, his voice quiet and soft and _genuine._ “Holy night. All is calm, all is bright…”

It was bright, wasn’t it? The guy behind Thomas actually flashed him a smile at his change, and Patton watched as little butterflies flew up past the console. He smiled. Oh my, Thomas.

“I’ve got to give him credit, he can _really_ sing,” Roman said, watching Logan from the background. “Why doesn’t he do this more often?”

“I think it’s kind of like Christmas,” Patton said. “It’s special because you only get it once a year. Well, it’s really special because it’s Logan’s, but,” Patton said. “Its rarity makes it even more beautiful.”

Logan finished the song, his eyes shining with something that looked almost like excitement. Virgil nudged him away from the controls as soon as everyone left the risers.

“He’s gonna talk to that guy, I know it,” Virgil said, pressing a button here and there. Logan let him, moving back towards Patton.

“You did phenomenal!” Patton shouted, pulling him in for a tight hug. Logan relaxed into the embrace, hanging his head over Patton’s shoulder. Well.

Maybe Logan loved caroling.

And…

Maybe he loved Patton, too.


End file.
